Mixed Bag of stuff

Well...today wasn't my favorite day I have ever had in my life. I did wake up looking forward to it -- afterall...tonight is the favorite scrappy girls' get together and slumber party (not that I anticipated tons of sleep) -- but fun and frivolity was sure to abound. I even had new jammies (sleep pants and a top) for cruising the crop in . I had agreed with Royce to come home before the crack of dawn because he needed to to attend a seminar with him on Saturday -- but still -- there were HOURS for un to be had by all.

I also received an email from my wedding coordinator in Maui about a few details (see picture of beach...this is the location Royce and I want for our wedding...and then the reception at Mama's Fish House). Good possibilities...few open dates -- some that potentially could work...some that may not have what we need....so at least making progess on all of that.

Then the bomb-shell. Our company has been in negotiation or a really big deal -- (hear Ed Sullivan's voice saying REALLY BIG SHEWWWWWWWWWW and imagine that kind of a deal> On this deal hinged many things in Royce and my personal life....the wedding, our house, our finanial security...you know -- the little day to day stuff that married people want to be able to take for granted. Anyway....things went way south on it today. Won't go into why -- but the South Pole is north of where this deal is headed. I found myself responding strongly on behalf of my beloved. Not just miffed. Not just befuddled. I was blazing, fire breathing MAD...and that led to a full fledged panic attack. Now this panic attack was unlike any panic attack I have ever had....and my left arm began to hurt and be numb...leading me to think I was facing a heart attack. Go directly to the hospital -- do not pass go...do not collect $200 (although take $200 wsince it will cost you that to leave later). Turns out I was just having a doozzy of a panic attack...scary -- but not life threatening...and a torn deltoid muscle....unrelated -- but unfortunate timing because it make me thing I was having a heart attack. Great people at the hospital took great care of me...but I felt like sucha loser to be so "needy" on the one day that Royce needed to be able to draw on my strength. I just kept clinging to that verse...."In our weakness He is made strong." Bet Jesus is feeling at the top of His game today if my weakness makes him strong.

THe game plan is for me to take it easy...get the arm well....try not to stress...but relx as much as possible. Not one of those things I do well...but under strict orders to do so -- so will try and follow the rules.

Ok....am moping that I am not off with my girlfriends right now...how can they have fun without me?!?!?! Actually, I am sure they will do just fine.,,,Just another reason for me to hold my very own pity party. A friend reminded me tonight -- that it is ok to feel what we feel...and that the way God has put me together, these kinds of mood rarely last....that is a blessings...so I will dwell on that.

Thanks for your prayers...know you are in mine. Hopefully will send a better report tomorrow.

Love you guys....happy weekend.