To all my friends who are mothers.
To my friends who wish with all of their hearts that they were mothers, I give you the tightest, warmest, most compassionate hug I could possible give. You are loved. You are worthy. You are needed. You are complete...even though you feel a hole in you that would perfectly fit a child you could call your own.
I am grateful for my friends that understand why going to church on Mother's Day Sunday has become an unbearable activity for me. I am grateful that God continues to assure me of His love and His plan for my life. I am grateful for a sister that has shared her children with me from the moment of their birth (actually letting me be there when they were born). I am grateful for Weston who is as much a son to me as any that I could have picked for myself. I am grateful that on so many occasions I have had the opportunity to talk with orphans about what that experience was like for me...and that God doesn't "over-look" them -- but loves them deeply and sees all of their dreams and their hopes. He has a plan for them. It may not look like the blueprint they have for themselves...but it is a perfect plan...and He will see them through it.
He does that for me...every day. He loves me...whether I am a mother or not...He gives me opportunity to nurture...to love...to hug....to protect....to model for others how we are to live -- He gives me opportunity to use the character traits he placed within me...and it is my choice to either use them...or refuse to because i don't get to use them they way I WANTED to. The choice is mine...and I think most days, I make the right one. On mothers' Day...I am not so good at it. Why is THAT day so hard...? Oh well...when I make it through the next 24 hours...I have another year to figure it out....perhaps the joy will be next year that I don't struggle as hard with it. Lovely thought.
Thanks to my friends for letting me be a bit instrospective...ok...a LOT instrospective.