Sunday, May 14, 2006

You Gotta Love A Man Who...

hurts when you hurt.

Boy am I blessed. As you could probably tell these last few days have been hard for me. I don't normally get so self-possessed for such an extended period of time. Mother's Day has been hard for me since my early 30's but this year was the worst yet...and I think it was probably because of having the hysterectomy at Christmas time...it was like this year was the final....FINAL. I just couldn't shake it.

I prayed. I confessed my self-centeredness. I went out and purposely did activities to get my mind off of ME...and still....deep inside my heart was just so sad....not mad.....sad.

Today I called my Mom and got to share with her what she has meant to me....for me, Mother's Day is about her.

But tonight -- my honey did something that melted my heart and took so much of my sadness away. He had kind of left me alone -- letting me deal with things in my way -- but this afternoon he called and asked if I would come over for dinner. When I did, he had a special evening planned for me. Roses at my table setting. A lovely glass of wine....and a dinner that was to die for...all laid out on a wooden plank. It was like we were in a fancy restaurant...but it was just us two. He got HUGE points for presentation.

Then he gave me a WONDERFUL card. In case you don't know this about me -- I LOVE to give and receive cards. Receiving them allows me to pull them back out and read them again and again...recalling the moment or the sentiment attached to them. Royce has learned this about me and is great at giving me cards....but this one had a special touch to it. Where Happy Mother's Day was...he had cut and pasted J - A - N- N from magazines and post-it notes....so he made it into a Happy Jann Day card. He touched my heart by the words in the card...but he made me laugh at his attempt to "scrapbook" that all the sadness just spilled out with my laughter and my heart became light again.

Ok...so I am not a Mom. I am Jann (and today I had a Happy Jann Day!)...and I am who God created me to be -- and if I keep moping around I am not fulfilling His calling for my life...so I am going to let my heart be light...and rejoice in ALL the blessings I do have. One of which is a wonderful man in my life willing to "scrap" me happy!

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends who are Moms. I don't want to take anything away from you...I rejoice with you that you have little ones...and some not so little ones in your care. And I know that being a Mom comes with a whole other set of trials....so I pray for you often.

6 comments:

  1. I thought about you a lot today. Worried about you. I'm glad to see Royce pulled out all the stops to make you smile. I take back everything I ever said about him. ha! Just kiddin', Royce. He's impressive.

    I love you and I'm glad you're okay. You are such a huge blessing to me. When I let my flesh get in the way of what God wants me to think or do, you always say something to remind me of God's way of doing things. I sooooo need that in my life! You are an angel and I just couldn't love you more. Smooch! (I'm crying now. Sheesh.)

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  2. OH Royce- You did good!

    I remember those hard days and it is no fun! I'm sorry you are hurting. God may not have had it in his plan for you to physically have children. But maybe it was his plan for you to be a mother figure to all those orphans. You have been such a blessing to so many people. Even though it hurts, God has used you to mother, support and uplift to many here and in other countries. Those children are your children.

    I've been through it and I still don't have the right words to say.
    You are loved and highly thought of.

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  3. Jann, what a wonderful thing he did! I love his version of scrapbooking! Maybe soon you'll have him doing pages with you and for you! I'm not sure what he thinks about coming to the crops though.....lol! That was such a heartfelt thing for him to do with dinner and all! That really shows a heart of understanding...and that is hard to find in a man! As sweet as you are, I always wondered why God didn't have it in His plan for you to have kiddos of your own...although it is not for me to question...I know you have filled the hearts of so many though, from here to around the world! I really hope I have not put my foot in my mouth...I just wanted you to know I have thought and prayed for you...He has a different purpose for you...His ways are higher than our ways...thanks for being the sweet you you are! And Happy Jann Day!

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  4. Jann,
    Hold on - let me stop crying.
    I have to say that he is quite a man. You know, he will never be able to show his face at ScrapIt again unless he is ready for a harem of women falling all over him
    !
    I have been wanting to email you, but I don't have your email address. When you get a moment, would you send it to me at craftingmemories@yahoo.com? I have so much more to write, but I will save it for the email so I don't take up all of your space!!!
    Thanks and Happy Jann Day!

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  5. So much to say.
    Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
    I will talk to you soon to share all my feelings.
    I feel as though I wouldn't stop rambling if I started typing!
    Although I will say that Royce redeemed himself!
    You are precious.
    You have become such a dear, close friend.
    What a blessing in my life.
    Ann

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  6. You are such a blessing to all who know you:) ((hugs)) Kelli

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Thank you for taking the time to stop by for a visit and commenting! Your input means a lot to me. Have a great day! ~Jann