Ok...I think that my working on
this layout has stirred my desire to go back to Italy. I loved everything about this trip...the weather...the country...the people -- the Mediteranian...I didn't even mind turning 40 while I was there!
Royce took me there for my 40th birthday because he said, "they appreciate old things in Italy." Yeah right -- he's one to talk. We had a deal -- he only had to go walk through one ruin a day...and he could have as much pasta as he wanted...I don't think I would have a hard time convincing him to go back -- we had such a lovely time. I can't believe that was five years ago...MAN has time passed quickly.
Speaking of old things...I took a picture of myself yesterday because I realised that I don't really have any pictures of me since I have lost weight -- and I wanted to use them in a project I am working on...so I got everything all set up -- cute outfit -- late day sunlight...pretty blurred fall foliage in the background...and it turns out that I wish I had focused on the foliage and blurred my face! For crying out the door -- when did I get wrinkles between my eyebrows?!?!?! Do I frown that much? I refuse to use these pictures...or to show them to anybody. Sure -- the double chin was gone...but I looked like the worried witch of the west! I have GOT to stop frowning...get botox of SOMETHING to get rid of these things. Why did not my friends tell me -- Jann...your face is gonna stick that way if you keep frowning? My mom used to say that when I would cross my eyes about something that I thought was stupid...and while it never happened...it is probably because she warned me. Now -- I have wrinkles and NOBODY warned me! What in the world has me so worried that my face is stuck in a wrinkled furrow?
Oh wait...the sun was in my eyes.....*whew* there for a moment I thought I was showing my age! Heaven forbid! *laughing* Actually, I am beginning to have a few wrinkles and I intend to wear them proudly -- it means that I have lived and survived (by the grace of God) enough things in my life to warrant them. They should be seen as a badge of honor -- not something to be horrified of. Some of the most beautiful pictures I have ever taken were of older women...their faces showing the wisdom of years of of having lived life. I wouldn't mind that so much...I think it is just the shock of seeing yourself change in the mirror everyday. It doesn't happen all at once...just little things at the time...and if you don't take time to really look at yourself it can come as a shock. Ok..I have rambled very long about a very unimportant thing...it just was so funny to me yesterday to see these pictures where I thought I was going to look just a bit ravishing (because of my plan to work with the early evening light -- hot outfit and beautiful composition with the leaves behind me) and what I saw in the pictures was someone who didn't resemble the picture I had in my head. I think it might be a good thing to somehow take that kind of picture of our hearts as well. We think they are all pure and beautiful...but if an unexpected snapshot was taken, I am afraid that my heart would look mean and dark -- not like I expected it at all. i am going to have to ponder that...and work harder to get the wrinkles out of my heart than I am to get them off of my forhead.
Ok...enough ramblings...just the thoughts of a woman (who thinks she's still a girl) and a child of God who had a moment's realization that there is still a lot of work left to do to clean up my heart so it is ready for that snapshot.
Have a great day...consider yourself loved and appreciated. And if you ever get to the Amalfi Coast in Italy...consider me jealous!